Between Two Kingdoms: What almost dying taught me about living

Between Two Kingdoms: What almost dying taught me about living

  • Downloads:6979
  • Type:Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date:2021-04-21 09:51:08
  • Update Date:2025-09-07
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Suleika Jaouad
  • ISBN:178763051X
  • Environment:PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Summary

We all face moments that bring us to our knees: heartbreak, trauma, illness。 When things don't go to plan this is the book to reach for - an inspirational memoir about what we can learn about life from a brush with death。

At just twenty-two, on the cusp of adult life, Suleika Jaouad was diagnosed with leukemia and given a 35 per cent chance of survival。 For the next five years, her world comprised four white walls, a hospital bed, fluorescent lights, tubes and wires。 She became patient 5624。 At twenty-seven, and celebrating her first year of remission, Suleika realized that, having survived, she now had no idea how to live。 And so she set out to meet some of the many strangers who had written to her about their experiences of life, death, healing and recovery in response to her Emmy-Award winning New York Times column, 'Life Interrupted'。 Between Two Kingdoms is the result。 Drawing on Suleika's TED Talk, now with 4 million views, it illuminates universal questions about how we live, mourn, heal and grow up, and what it means to begin again。

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Reviews

Holly Mueller

I LOVED this audiobook and might need to buy the print copy just to see and savor some of the lines in it。 I finished it while we were on spring break in North Captiva, and I know I'll remember walking the beach and the sandy roads while I listened to Suleika Jaouad's journey。 Heard about it on CBS Sunday Morning and put it on hold on Overdrive。 SO glad I did! A will be recommending this one! I LOVED this audiobook and might need to buy the print copy just to see and savor some of the lines in it。 I finished it while we were on spring break in North Captiva, and I know I'll remember walking the beach and the sandy roads while I listened to Suleika Jaouad's journey。 Heard about it on CBS Sunday Morning and put it on hold on Overdrive。 SO glad I did! A will be recommending this one! 。。。more

Emily

Captivating! Rare perspective on cancer in one’s thirties and beautifully written。 Recommend her Isolation Journals project too (free, weekly emails)。

Rachel Docherty

A beautiful memoir, narrated by the author。 I couldn’t stop listening to Suleika’s story, I was so deeply touched by her honesty and bravery。 Knowing too many people whose lives have been touched, devastated and ended by cancer, Suleika’s remarkable journey and storytelling, will stay with me a long time。

Jennifer White

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 The first part of this memoir is horrifying as Jaouad describes what it is like to live with bone marrow cancer。 From the initial itch to losing the lining of her esophagus to countless rounds of debilitating chemo; it minimalized any suffering in my own life。 She also intersperses the horror with moments of love whether from Will's constant companionship to the new friends she meets at Sloan Kettering。 I remember looking at the time left on my audiobook wondering how it was going to continue fo The first part of this memoir is horrifying as Jaouad describes what it is like to live with bone marrow cancer。 From the initial itch to losing the lining of her esophagus to countless rounds of debilitating chemo; it minimalized any suffering in my own life。 She also intersperses the horror with moments of love whether from Will's constant companionship to the new friends she meets at Sloan Kettering。 I remember looking at the time left on my audiobook wondering how it was going to continue for six more hours。 And then she begins her post-recovery struggles。 I was less engaged in this part of the memoir, save for the moment she visits an inmate on death row which is absolutely heart-wrenching (I was glad to see she went on to do further writing on this)。 The latter half was probably meant to be discordant because that is how she felt。 。。。more

Karen

PopSugar Reading Challenge - A book by a Muslim American author (first generation Tunisian-Swiss-Muslim American according to her bio)Booklist Queen's Reading Challenge - BiographyAround America in 50 Books Reading Challenge - Vermont (one of many settings, but location of family cabin where she began her journey back to reclaiming her life after spending years in and out of the hospital) PopSugar Reading Challenge - A book by a Muslim American author (first generation Tunisian-Swiss-Muslim American according to her bio)Booklist Queen's Reading Challenge - BiographyAround America in 50 Books Reading Challenge - Vermont (one of many settings, but location of family cabin where she began her journey back to reclaiming her life after spending years in and out of the hospital) 。。。more

Sonja

I didn't know what to expect from her as a writer。 My initial interest in Suleika Jaouad's story came from comments by Jon Baptiste about her Isolation Journals weblog。 I was struck by the 100 day challenge of one's choice (I still haven't completed one) and the journal prompts。 I love Jon Batiste as so many people do and I was intrigued to learn something about his girlfriend。 Suleika's struggle to survive leukemia and then to find a way of re-entering the world of the living moved me very much I didn't know what to expect from her as a writer。 My initial interest in Suleika Jaouad's story came from comments by Jon Baptiste about her Isolation Journals weblog。 I was struck by the 100 day challenge of one's choice (I still haven't completed one) and the journal prompts。 I love Jon Batiste as so many people do and I was intrigued to learn something about his girlfriend。 Suleika's struggle to survive leukemia and then to find a way of re-entering the world of the living moved me very much。 Having lost my husband to cancer, many of her passages resonated deeply with me and brought me to tears。The subtitle is "A Memoir of a Life Interrupted" which has various meaning for people。 She heard from many people during her hospital stays through emails and messages。 One such person, who had lived with a chronic autoimmune condition for most of his life, wrote, "Meaning is not found in the material world - dinner, jazz, cocktails, conversation or whatever。 Meaning is what's left when everything else is stripped away。" p。126 This hit me hard remembering something my husband said days before he died。 Instead of taking end-of-life medication, he refused, saying dying unassisted "gives my life meaning。" I think I understand that now。A realization Suleika came to while at Hope Lodge, after touch-and-go days in the hospital touched me deeply: "We are born needing care and we die needing care。" This made me remember a day when my beautiful boy who was on hospice lashed out at me for taking too long to do something。 I walked out of the room to breathe and collect myself and when I re-entered the bedroom, he immediately apologized and said, "I guess the dying need more care than we thought。" Yes, they do, and thank you Suleika Jaouad for reminding me of precious moments。As her illness makes her more and more dependent on her boyfriend Will she feels two competing emotions duking it out in her heart: "I hate you, I need you。" p。 137 It chilled me to read her words because I, too, know that my husband felt and thought that。 And that tension would erupt sometimes in unkind words。 My mantra during these times (to find my balance again) was "loving presence, loving presence。"Suleika takes her best friend's ashes to India, a place she had loved, and as she drops them into a sacred river the words of her friend's last Instagram comes to mind: gate gate parasite parasangate bodhi svaha。 Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond。 O what an awakening, all hail。" I feel the same sadness and recognition when I spread my husband's ashes at the base of a redwood in a memorial conservation forest。Suleika contemplates the role of ritual in mourning。 I'm sure she is thinking of her own mortality as she says goodbye to her friend。 Rituals are a way of engaging with our grief。 She writes "these rites of passage allow us to migrate from one phase of our lives to another, they keep us from getting lost in transit。" p。219 The image she gives us is of herself as a "bee trapped inside a window, smashing my forehead against the glass with mounting desperation in a futile attempt to get out," before she had come to that understanding of rituals。 "They show us a way to honor the space between no longer and not yet。" I love that sentence。There's much more to her story of learning to live again。 I am moved by her writing and her soul and am grateful she gave us this book。 。。。more

Amy Makechnie

I can't think of a book that made me more thankful to be alive and love the body I'm in。 What an awesome memoir。 I can't think of a book that made me more thankful to be alive and love the body I'm in。 What an awesome memoir。 。。。more

Lindsay

Coming Soon

Alicia Via-Dufresne Ley

"Between Two Kingdoms" is the account of a young woman who was given a different script to live by。 Just in most of the sweetest moment of life, Suleika (Susu) met the ugly face of cancer and had the stamina and courage to survive it。 In this beautiful book she talks about change, pain, suffering, life, death, love, friendship, mourning, rebirth and gratitude。 Her journey -and that of her family and friend- started with an itch but it lasted long after she was announced cured。 Heartbreaking and "Between Two Kingdoms" is the account of a young woman who was given a different script to live by。 Just in most of the sweetest moment of life, Suleika (Susu) met the ugly face of cancer and had the stamina and courage to survive it。 In this beautiful book she talks about change, pain, suffering, life, death, love, friendship, mourning, rebirth and gratitude。 Her journey -and that of her family and friend- started with an itch but it lasted long after she was announced cured。 Heartbreaking and inspiring, I loved reading each of its 350 s0 pages。 。。。more

Jenny Cruxton

Such a great book - such a life affirming read! Suleika is an amazing writer and so brave。

Theresa

A graceful and heartfelt telling of one young woman's journey through illness and recovery and her search for what lies beyond mere survival。 A look into how her illness not only altered her plans and relationships, but how it began to shape her life in recovery。 A graceful and heartfelt telling of one young woman's journey through illness and recovery and her search for what lies beyond mere survival。 A look into how her illness not only altered her plans and relationships, but how it began to shape her life in recovery。 。。。more

Ann-Marie DeStefano

Really enjoying memoirs this year, and this one did not disappoint。 Actually a story in two parts, about the author’s journeys during and after illness, the people who touch her life and the lessons she learns。 Heartbreaking and hopeful all at once。

Morgan Calvert

I've read a lot of memoirs, but I've never read one quite like this。 In it, we follow Suleika as she is diagnosed with leukemia at the ripe age of 22。 The book is divided into two major sections: 1) her diagnosis and treatment and 2) life after treatment and her journey to find herself again。I loved how honest and intimate this memoir was。 Suleika does a fantastic job of describing the emotional experience of cancer treatment and how it really changes your identity, your relationships, your pers I've read a lot of memoirs, but I've never read one quite like this。 In it, we follow Suleika as she is diagnosed with leukemia at the ripe age of 22。 The book is divided into two major sections: 1) her diagnosis and treatment and 2) life after treatment and her journey to find herself again。I loved how honest and intimate this memoir was。 Suleika does a fantastic job of describing the emotional experience of cancer treatment and how it really changes your identity, your relationships, your perspective, everything really。 It's such a sad part of the novel (and comprises the majority of it), but it was so beautifully written that she takes something that is so difficult to live and makes it so easy to read。 I do wish we'd gotten to hear more about Suleika's 100-day road trip post-treatment and the lessons she learned from people along the way, but otherwise, this book is absolutely worth the read - it's devastating, heavy and heartbreaking, but it's also captivating, inspiring and vibrant。 。。。more

Gerry

I seldom re-read books, but am considering purchasing this one (I listened to the audiobook borrowed from my library via Overdrive) to read at least parts of it again。 I can imagine readers having very different responses to it depending on their own life circumstances, and I too may react differently if I re-read in the future。 This beautifully-written memoir focuses on the author's diagnosis with and treatment for leukemia in her twenties, and on her journey back to "real" life after achieving I seldom re-read books, but am considering purchasing this one (I listened to the audiobook borrowed from my library via Overdrive) to read at least parts of it again。 I can imagine readers having very different responses to it depending on their own life circumstances, and I too may react differently if I re-read in the future。 This beautifully-written memoir focuses on the author's diagnosis with and treatment for leukemia in her twenties, and on her journey back to "real" life after achieving remission。 Dealing with serious, potentially fatal, illness is never easy, but for a young woman just beginning her adult life after college, the diagnosis was devastating。 Jaouad very openly shares not only the painful details of her treatment, but also her emotional reactions and the changes in her outlook and personal relationships over the course of her disease。 Not an easy read, but one that I found very worthwhile。 。。。more

Marla Cantrell

For a week, I pored over Suleika Jaouad’s words, following her story from college to Paris and back home to the States。 The driving force of her memoir was the illness that staked its claim inside her。 In the beginning, it felt as if a thousand mosquitos had descended, and she scratched herself until she bled。 Fatigue followed, but wasn’t everyone tired who was trying to get ahead? Her symptoms were baffling but ultimately dismissed。 Make no mistake, though, a storm was brewing, and when she was For a week, I pored over Suleika Jaouad’s words, following her story from college to Paris and back home to the States。 The driving force of her memoir was the illness that staked its claim inside her。 In the beginning, it felt as if a thousand mosquitos had descended, and she scratched herself until she bled。 Fatigue followed, but wasn’t everyone tired who was trying to get ahead? Her symptoms were baffling but ultimately dismissed。 Make no mistake, though, a storm was brewing, and when she was 22, the thunder and lightning hit。 I have seldom read a book as beautifully written as Between Two Kingdoms。 Jaouad’s vulnerability shows in every paragraph – when she examines the toll her illness took on her family。 When she examines what it costs two people in love to go through so much devastation。 When she describes what it’s like to live somewhere between the living and the dead。At times, this memoir is filled with so much loves it feels hard to bear。 At times, the anguish is heartbreaking。 Every sentence is seething with wisdom far beyond the author’s age。 There is so much to reveal, and so many lessons to be learned。 Plus, there’s a rescue dog named Oscar。 And a 100-day road trip to pay homage to those who helped her survive the years of treatment she needed to get better。One of my favorite passages is this:“Life is not a controlled experiment。 You can’t time-stamp when one thing turns into another, can’t quantify who impacts you in what way, can’t isolate which combination of factors alchemize into healing。 There is no atlas charting that lonely, moonless stretch of highway between where you start and who you become。”Between Two Kingdoms is an adventure story。 A story about all kinds of love – romantic, familial, and between friends guiding each other through the hardest times。 This is the book I’ll return to again, because there is so much to be learned from Suleika Jaouad。 She is a remarkable writer with an unforgettable story。 。。。more

Brenda

An amazing memoir about one young woman’s resilient battle with leukemia and her quest to reclaim her life after completing treatment via a road trip to meet those who supported her along the way。 I love how the book highlights the fact we all straddle the two kingdoms of sickness and wellness throughout our life and how to find value in both of them。 Highly recommend!

Dawn

An excellently honest and inspiring memoir that all survivors of anything, should read。

Kirsten

LOVED this book。 I would call this genius writing! Vulnerable, emotionally gripping but not overwrought, painful but hopeful, impossible to put down! Suleika is incredibly self-aware, observant, honest in dealing with her illness and self-identity, AND her “re-entry” after recovery。 I felt this book with her, understood her moods, struggles。 I’m also a cancer survivor but never had to go through the battles she went through。 She found such strength in her journey but could give in to at times to LOVED this book。 I would call this genius writing! Vulnerable, emotionally gripping but not overwrought, painful but hopeful, impossible to put down! Suleika is incredibly self-aware, observant, honest in dealing with her illness and self-identity, AND her “re-entry” after recovery。 I felt this book with her, understood her moods, struggles。 I’m also a cancer survivor but never had to go through the battles she went through。 She found such strength in her journey but could give in to at times to being weak and exhausted。 She is a compassionate and affirming person。 Just WOW! 。。。more

Ann

I don't think I could have tolerated this book if I hadn't already heard Suleika Jaouard speak so I knew she survived。 At the age of 22, she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of leukemia。 So the first half of the book was a graphic description of all the horrors of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant。 Every time you thought she was doing OK, she would end up in the emergency room with infections, high fevers, etc。 Just as she's losing all sense of self, she starts writing a b I don't think I could have tolerated this book if I hadn't already heard Suleika Jaouard speak so I knew she survived。 At the age of 22, she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of leukemia。 So the first half of the book was a graphic description of all the horrors of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant。 Every time you thought she was doing OK, she would end up in the emergency room with infections, high fevers, etc。 Just as she's losing all sense of self, she starts writing a blog about her experiences。 It becomes so popular that it is picked up by the New York Times。 People all over the world can relate to her and she saves all the letters and emails。Once she is considered cured, she decides to take a road trip to visit some of her correspondents。 So with a brand new driver's license and a borrowed car, she takes a 100 day road trip across the country。 She is hoping for wisdom as she realizes that she is no longer a cancer patient and can never return the life she was living before diagnosis。 Of course I googled her and she is doing fine now, cancer free and living with her boyfriend of 10 years, Jon Batiste。 。。。more

Monica

Beautiful, moving, and so honest! So happy to have read this!

Alisse

I picked up this book because of the incredible NYT review by Chanel Miller。 I don’t know if I would have picked up a cancer memoir at this stage in my life (I’m not a masochist) if not for that review and recommendation from another writer I so admire。 It’s a testament to the power of word of mouth。 Jaouad’s book, which (sometimes excruciatingly) details her cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, isn’t your typical cancer memoir—it’s uniqueness lies in the way she realistically talks about I picked up this book because of the incredible NYT review by Chanel Miller。 I don’t know if I would have picked up a cancer memoir at this stage in my life (I’m not a masochist) if not for that review and recommendation from another writer I so admire。 It’s a testament to the power of word of mouth。 Jaouad’s book, which (sometimes excruciatingly) details her cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, isn’t your typical cancer memoir—it’s uniqueness lies in the way she realistically talks about relationships and the unsaid affects that cancer has on a whole person, not just on their tumors。 I often found myself caught off guard by tears filling my eyes and sobs choking in my throat。 And perhaps it’s because cancer is so close to me these days, but I think the poignancy of this book would be felt by anyone。 You laugh when Suleika jokes, and you rage with her anger。 This isn’t an easy read, but it is a beautiful one。 And it’s definitely one that captivated me。 。。。more

Alessia

This book made me feel so much (to the point where I seriously considered not finishing because I was crying at almost every chapter), so I'm struggling to know what to write about it。I see myself in so much of Suleika, who spontaneously moved to Paris at 22 before her deteriorating health caused her to move back to the States where she was ultimately diagnosed with leukemia。 Her journey with cancer, falling in and out of love, and re-discovering who she is once she was well enough to travel are This book made me feel so much (to the point where I seriously considered not finishing because I was crying at almost every chapter), so I'm struggling to know what to write about it。I see myself in so much of Suleika, who spontaneously moved to Paris at 22 before her deteriorating health caused her to move back to the States where she was ultimately diagnosed with leukemia。 Her journey with cancer, falling in and out of love, and re-discovering who she is once she was well enough to travel are vulnerable and moving, and it was ultimately a joy and privilege to read about her life。 。。。more

Brooke Traister

I adored this memoir。 Suleika takes you through the ups and downs of her cancer journey, from the shock of diagnosis in her 20s, to round after round of challenging treatments, to the cross-country road trip she takes to regain her confidence in remission。As someone who has thankfully not had to deal with debilitating illness, my heart broke for Suleika, but I felt just as much pain for her parents and caregivers whose lives were just as much changed by her diagnosis。 More than ever, I am convin I adored this memoir。 Suleika takes you through the ups and downs of her cancer journey, from the shock of diagnosis in her 20s, to round after round of challenging treatments, to the cross-country road trip she takes to regain her confidence in remission。As someone who has thankfully not had to deal with debilitating illness, my heart broke for Suleika, but I felt just as much pain for her parents and caregivers whose lives were just as much changed by her diagnosis。 More than ever, I am convinced that it takes a more-than-mortal person to be a full- or even part-time caregiver throughout a loved one’s illness。 The friends and family and partners you meet in Suleika’s story made it the most memorable for me。While this book is definitely a tearjerker, there is also plenty of joy and hope and inspiration to be found in Suleika’s story。 I highly recommend。 。。。more

Julie

An up close look at the treatment of leukemia and the struggles to survive it。

Carolyn Gaziano

Wonderful book。 Read this if you have friends who have or have had cancer ( of any type)。 It will give you a much better understanding of their situation。 Having had a stem cell transplant 18 months ago there is so much I relate to in this book。 I laughed, I cried。。。。 However, it may not be appreciated by patients still undergoing treatment。。。。 I don’t know。

Debb

Loved this book!! It's a story about coping with cancer and learning to live with death at such a young age。 It's about coming out the other side of cancer and re-learning all the things you thought you knew about living, loving, and being human。 Absolutely loved this book!! Loved this book!! It's a story about coping with cancer and learning to live with death at such a young age。 It's about coming out the other side of cancer and re-learning all the things you thought you knew about living, loving, and being human。 Absolutely loved this book!! 。。。more

Ekta Parekh

This is an intimate look into the physical and emotional journey of Suleika Jaouad as she got diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 22 - an up, close and personal account of life interrupted。 A before and after。 There are moments described in naked detail that will trigger you on some level, but also experiences rich in love and life that will carry you through the deep interiority of the journey she shares with us。 Not taking away from the core of what is essentially her journey, but I would li This is an intimate look into the physical and emotional journey of Suleika Jaouad as she got diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 22 - an up, close and personal account of life interrupted。 A before and after。 There are moments described in naked detail that will trigger you on some level, but also experiences rich in love and life that will carry you through the deep interiority of the journey she shares with us。 Not taking away from the core of what is essentially her journey, but I would like to draw attention also to her impactful writing that makes it relatable for anyone going through an unexpected life-changing moment in time, such as this pandemic for one。 I could go on and on, suffice to say this book is many stories rolled into one。 A daily journal of a cancer patient。 Life, interrupted。 A survival memoir。 Love lost and found。 A road trip。 The discovery of joy。 A lesson in hope 🤍 。。。more

Philippa Lockwood

Just as her amazing/ romantic/ beautiful life is beginning (in Paris, of all places)。。。 Cancer。 This book was 50% cancer battle, 50% road trip following recovery and opened a window into a world I (thankfully) know very little about。 Heartbreaking, but beautiful, even if the ending felt a little rushed。

Jeannette Wennerstrom

My second 5 star review for 2021 and it’s only April! I listened to this book entirely on Libby。 Not sure if the cancer process the author faced spoke to me since it seemed so very familiar to what my sister went through just a few short years ago or the fact that the authors bestie was named Melissa and she also suffered with cancer。 What an amazing journey this author has experienced and wrote about。 She has a true gift of writing and I could not have enjoyed it more。 I look forward to her fut My second 5 star review for 2021 and it’s only April! I listened to this book entirely on Libby。 Not sure if the cancer process the author faced spoke to me since it seemed so very familiar to what my sister went through just a few short years ago or the fact that the authors bestie was named Melissa and she also suffered with cancer。 What an amazing journey this author has experienced and wrote about。 She has a true gift of writing and I could not have enjoyed it more。 I look forward to her future books。 。。。more

Jackie

The audiobook is PERFECTION